Well, its just another sunday without Brandon. He is gone every weekend in the summer for swim meets, and about 1-2 weekends a month during the school year....this gives me one thought: I wouldn't be a very good single mother! I guess I get used to doing things alone without a lot of extra help, but I feel like I'm always a step behind. ( or five!) I have such a hard time keeping up with the house and the laudary and the cooking. By the end of the day when my kids are finally in bed, I take one look at my house and think, " I finally have a minute to clean up!" and then I think "forget that idea I'm going to watch a movie and fall asleep!" Am I really supposed to find joy in cleaning ALL day long??.....because guess what? I don't!! I think motherhood would be a lot more enjoyable with a cook and a maid! I would really like to hear from anyone that enjoys cooking and cleaning. Maybe I would like to cook more if my kids wouldn't scream the whole time I'm in the kitchen! I am thinking I need something more stemulating to do. Does anyone ever feel like you get lost in the background as a mother, like your identity is gone or something? Like you forget who you were or what you liked to do or what you wanted to be? Well thats obviously how I feel tonight. :) Don't get me wrong I LOVE being a mother and I would have it no other way....I just feel a little bored right now.....I just realized that the only time I actually write a post is when I'm distressed...maybe I should change that :) Oh well. Good night for now.
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7 comments:
Hey Audrey! Long time no see. I couldn't help but empathize with you on your post! Most times when I'm cooking, Gwen is hugging my leg wanting to help while there's a pot of something boiling on the stove! Hang in there...I know you're doing great! We miss having you guys as our neighbors!
It happens to the best of us. Somedays I feel like my mind has been stolen by aliens who are slowly torturing me. Other days I feel the sweet joys of being mommy. I think having girfriends and a babysitter are essential to sanity.
Amen! I feel the same way all the time, too! Don't feel alone. Its rough being the mom! There is seriously so much we are "supposed" to be able to do! Do your best!
You are not alone! I can totally relate especially having 3 little ones 4 and under. Life seems a little boring sometimes!(well there is always stuff to be done, but I don't want to do it). And sometimes, you want to go do stuff but not have all three in tow (not my idea of fun) and by the time you get time at night you are exhausted and want to do nothing but lay around. I hear you sister!!! Hang in there...I guess we all need to hang in there!
I found your blog :) Ahhh dido to everything you said. And you are such an amazing mom you are such an example to me!!
Oh Audrey, I think you are great! I love what you write. It is real. I think EVERY mother goes through the loss of identity, particularly while her kids are young and so high maintenance physically (I am sure the more emotional comes in the teen years). I still am having to find new things I enjoy and like to do while having kids. It is a re-defining time and it constantly changes as numbers and ages change of the kids. AND your kids will not remember the messy house, no laundry or PB and J sandwiches again...they will remember the time with you (at least I hope...lol) You will still get into the celestial kingdom with a messy house! I am in it with you...if you ever need some girlfriend time to watch those movies with you, I'm your girl!
All I can say is...AMEN...and...You're doing much better than you think...and your best IS enough. =) Love ya sista!
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